“A good deed a day” -Challenge: Selfish-Style!

October draws to a close now. Pretty much exactly a month ago I presented you my “A good deed a day” -Challenge. And that challenge didn´t work out as planned …

 

“A good deed a day” in practice

It sounds extremely easy. Do at least once each day a good deed, even if only a small one. Help someone else and support your fellow human beings in a life situation where they urgently need a helping hand or struggling right now. I would generally describe myself as a helpful person – who wouldn´t do that – but I´m going to be honest with you and tell you like a real badass who I´ve been helping in October: Myself!

 

A selfish act a day?

How selfish! Do you already imagine, how I walk around as a selfish idiot? Then you don´t know me at all. I belong to the category of people who are addicted to harmony. That´s why I opt for this challenge on the blog in the first place. I believe more than anything that we can make a difference if we care more about each other, and above all we listen better and support. For the challenge, I didn´t (!) want to write kind of a diary on each day´s good deed.  No, rather, I wanted to make this feeling, of doing something positive for someone else every day, more intensive and bring it alive. And maybe you would like to do that too. Basically, I´m anyway always walking with open eyes and arms through life, whether this even improved in October? I don´t think so, and for quite certain reasons. No excuses, but reasons 😉 On the one hand, I didn´t have much company, so I haven´t been much among other people (the reason why I´ll tell you soon!) And on the other hand, I might had to learn something for myself.

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Where does the good deed end?

To please everybody, everyone needs to be happy… I still have to learn a lot and perhaps also to fall falt on my face (unfortunately or thank God?). What I´m going to talk about now, needs to be seen totally separate from the “A good deed in the day” -Challenge. Helpfulness, community and commitment to others are some of the most important things in life and in the world. But somehow during this October I was apparently meant to help myself.

Already a long time I let go of caring for the opinion, others have about me. But this sense of responsibility for the happiness of others? That accompanies me steadily. Clearly you want to avoid conflicts and bad consciences, but sometimes you get to your limits. You want to help a friend, but you ultimately develop such a sense of duty that you don´t know anymore where you´re mind is. This goes so far, that you suddenly feel bad. We agree that this is the wrong way. And I had to experience that in the last weeks. The willingness to help has its limits, unfortunately. What I have learned is that (almost) everyone is responsible for their own happiness (under given circumstances, of course). I can´t get myself into trouble due to my own decisions and expect others to get me out of there. And just as little anyone else can demand me to do that. My good deed for me was to finally realise that. I finally understood that I´m not responsible for the happiness and the lives of others. I can support them up to a certain limit, but they have to do the rest for themselves. Completely independent from the willingness to help others or the desire to do something good, you should also always focus on yourself. It is only when you constantly work on yourself and trying to live the best version of yourself (as commonly said), that you can also make something meaningful for your friends and community.

What do you think about that?

 

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Let us all be do-gooder

Nevertheless my statement is not:  Bye bye October,  bye bye “A good deed a day” –Challenge – now I can be an asshole again! No, the world doesn´t need jerks! I´ll continue to try to do a bit more every day to do my part for a good world. Sometimes it is necessary to focus on yourself, on other days you can do great things for others. Or even something good for the environment:  leave the car at home  and walk or think a bit more sustainable during your holiday .

There are so many possibilities – so, let’s go and make the world a better place 😉 (so gooey, but so true!)

4 Comments

  • Kaja Thursday November 3rd, 2016 at 09:25 AM

    Schöner Beitrag. – Lass uns alle Weltverbesserersein sein – ich mag auch Menschen unterstützen, wie beispielsweise dem älteren Herrn, der am Bahngleis versucht seinen Rollator die Treppe runter zu hieven, weil der Fahrstuhl defekt ist und die Rolltreppe nur in die andere Richtung läuft. Manchmal ärgere ich mich über solche Situationen, wenn ich sehe wie andere einfach vorüberlaufen. – Zivilcourage ist ein weiteres Thema, wenn man hilft heisst es nicht gleich sich selbst auch in Schwierigkeiten zu bringen, manchmal reicht es schon laut um Hilfe zu schreien… Schön finde ich auch, dass Du darauf eingehst, dass man sich Selbst nicht vergessen soll. Denn bei dem ganzen achten auf andere Menschen, fragt man sich manchmal dann doch ob man sich vergisst! – Danke fürs Erinnern. ♥ Kaja // http://www.justblossom.de

    Reply
    • Ella Thursday November 3rd, 2016 at 04:17 PM

      Hi Kaja, vielen Dank für diese tollen Worte! Es ist so wichtig und wertvoll, dass es Leute wie dich (und hoffentlich mich ;)) gibt, die auch mal Kopf und Herz in die Hand nehmen um anderen Leuten was Gutes zu tun! Liebe Grüße <3

      Reply
  • Kuno Sunday November 20th, 2016 at 02:04 PM

    Hallo Ella,
    ein sehr schöner Beitrag! Ich finde es gut, dass du dich dazu entschieden hast nicht jeden Tag Buch zu führen. Ich glaube man zählt dann zwanghaft seine guten Taten ab und tut es nicht mehr der Sache wegen. Es sollte definitiv mehr Menschen wie dich geben, die sich Gedanken machen und auch wenn es für uns eine kleine Sache sein mag, jemandem mit dem Rolator über den Bahngang zu helfen, ist es für die Betroffenen etwas großes und die Menschen sind doch wirklich richtig dankbar 🙂

    Reply
    • Ella Sunday November 20th, 2016 at 05:26 PM

      Liebe Kuno, vielen Dank für deine schönen Worte! Ja, genau, das dachte ich mir auch – nicht versteifen, nur weil es die Challenge gibt, sondern einfach aus Freude und Liebe was Gutes tun! <3

      Reply

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